• chrissiehillercoac

How I got here.....

Hey I am Chrissie Hiller. I am a mum, a wife, a coach amongst other things.

I wanted to tell you a bit more about me and my journey to coaching busy working women, especially mums to help them with Nutrition, Fitness and Mindset.

I have always suffered with some sort of anxiety. I always worried about what other people thought about me, if everyone else was ok and if I was doing the right thing. I had a tough time as a teenager and I really didn't like secondary school. I know however that it could have been worse, much worse, but at the time I really hated it.

After having my son, Charlie, in March 2011 I suffered with post natal depression. I noticed it when he was about 4 months old. Or rather I admitted it then. Really I knew there was something wrong before that point. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him and we had an amazing bond. I just really struggled to cope. It all came to a head one day and I just fell apart and a few days later Tom took me to the doctors and I was given some medication and within a few months I started to feel better.

As the years went on I suffered with short periods of depression and was anxious most of the time. I rarely slept well and was constantly in a battle with myself over my weight and how I looked.

In late 2013, just after we got back from our honeymoon I started training for the London Marathon. It gave me a focus after I had spent 18 months planning a wedding. I wasn't a fast runner, I wasn't the best runner but I could run for a fairly long time and I was determined to do it. I finished the London Marathon in 4:45. It was about 15 minutes slower than planned due to an injury I picked up 3 weeks before marathon day. But I did it! I didn't stop once and every mile was a slow but steady and consistent pace. I was so proud and very VERY tired.

Once the aches and pains subsided I decided I needed to find a new way of keeping myself fit. I loved running but my poor knees didn't and I knew I didn't have the time to put in doing half marathons with a toddler at home.

I joined a gym near my office. It was a proper muscle builders gym with no windows and a funky smell. Soon enough I worked up the courage to hire a PT and I worked with her for about 3 months. She taught me how to lift weights and I completely fell in love (with the gym, not the PT, but she was amazing!). I got serious about the gym and made it a habit to go every morning before work. I started taking an interest in Nutrition and listening to various podcasts, reading books and articles and following trainers on social media. This continued for about 5 years and I became known for my dedication to the gym and my knowledge of food and nutrition.

Fast forward to 2019. One of the most difficult years of my life. I think it started really early in the year. I found that things were just harder. I felt paranoid all the time. Did people like me? Why did that friend not invite me out for drinks? Why did that colleague never invite me for lunch? Why did that person read my WhatsApp and not respond straight away?

Then I started getting physically ill. I can’t remember the exact order but it was one thing after another. A cold that led to sinusitis, shingles, migraines, exhaustion.

I felt like I was drowning with work.

I felt like I never had any time and that the clock was forever against me.

I slept maybe 3 hours a night.

Then by early summer I was struggling to leave the house.

One particular incident sticks in my head. We had a two day conference at work at a hotel. I needed to get there for 11am. It wasn’t far away - maybe 30 minutes. I had plenty of time in the morning to workout, walk the dog and get myself ready which I did. But when it came to leaving my house I couldn’t get further than putting my hand on the door handle. I tried about 6 times.

I didn’t understand what was wrong with me - I knew these people, I didn’t have to do anything but take in information and have some discussions - but I was terrified. I text my boss. I told him what was going on. And in fairness to him he told me I didn’t have to come. But I carried on trying and eventually I got out of the door and arrived JUST in time.

But I wasn’t myself. I just wanted to go back to my hotel room and go to bed.

Soon after that I walked into work and told another Manager how I was feeling and that I had a doctors appointment - she sent me straight home and less than an hour later my Doctor had signed me off for 4 weeks.

It didn’t immediately get better. The summer was a complete roller coaster. There were 2 or 3 moments when I had suicidal thoughts - that my family would be so much better without me. I pushed my GP to get me counselling sessions rather than just CBT (I had done this 6 times before and still never felt like it worked) and I was eventually put on a list and told I could have to wait months. In the end it was 3. Eventually after 7 weeks away from work I eased myself back in a couple of hours a day, and after 4 weeks I was back to full-time but, with a completely different focus and a completely different mindset.

A few things got me through that horrible time.

  • My family and a couple of very close friends that checked on me daily. Listened to my ramblings that made no sense to me let alone them. Held me when I needed it and took me out of the situations I couldn’t cope with.

  • I moved every day. Whilst I felt like staying in bed I got up at the same time every day, I walked the dog, I trained at the gym.

  • I ate really good nutritious food. I didn’t drink too much and I didn’t binge or over control.

  • Medication - that allowed me to sleep and rest and heal.

  • I signed up for a Personal Trainer course and a Level 4 Nutrition Coaching Course.

  • I hired a coach.

Today I am in a much better place. I still have days where I feel massive anxiety and have the odd panic attack, but these days are few and far between now. I know my triggers and I notice when they are coming - I can do something about them.

I have put things in place to help my mind stay healthy. I stay active, I eat nutritious food, I listen to podcasts and lots of music, I keep a journal and I have a small network of people I know I can talk to. I take care of myself by resting when I need to and by listening to my body.

And now I help people too. People that might be just like you. Now I am a coach!

I work with busy working women, most are mums, who find themselves drowning in the chaos of everyday life. As mums, wives, sisters, friends, employees, business owners and so much more, the women I look after are striving to be the best version of themselves. For their families, for their friends but most importantly for themselves.

Together we look at all aspects of their lives from Nutrition & Fitness to Time Management, Values, Limiting Beliefs and many more aspects of Mindset work.

I work on a 121 basis with people and in group coaching programmes.

I love helping people. I love to see them grow in confidence and self believe. I help them learn to love their bodies, improve their relationships with food and enrich their lives. I strive to help my clients get great results, and I truly believe that everyone deserves to feel amazing in their own skin!

So that's my some of the darkest and worst times of my life got me to where I am now. A career change, a completely new focus and a job that I could only have dreamed of...

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